I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Actions speak louder than pants.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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