Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
