As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
