I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
