The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
