I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
