In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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