Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
