I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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