EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
