That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
