At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
