I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
