Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
