He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
