i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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