you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i drank out of a bidet.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
