today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
