he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
