i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
