I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
