yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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