Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
