This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
