oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
