I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
