this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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