yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
