just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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