He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
