that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
