To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So squirting runs in the family.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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