I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
bring money and cleavage
you inspire me to be a worse person
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
