it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
