What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
