wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
