I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
