Having a random hookup so left but love u
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
