Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
