Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
