4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize