I just pynch a tree in the face
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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