how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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