Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
