Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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