My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
