I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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