I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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