I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
