I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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