i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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